Selling Africa Part Deux

And we're back. A bunch has happened since I last left you, including Mexico (who I'm picking to not make it out of the first round) beating Italy. I still stand by the call. Lets dive right in...

Group E

The Blogfather's favourite team when NZ aren't playing are the Mercurial Dutch. With talent aplenty they are perennial dark horses, which perhaps says more about their lack of big stage success than their ability. They should cruise here with a relatively easy group. One would expect Robin Van Persie to feature in the Golden Boot discussion if they can push on to the latter stages. Unfortunately the Blogfather's favourite non-kiwi Arjen Robben is injured and unlikely to feature in the group stages. Luckily for the Dutch they have weapons up front with the amended big 4 of Van Persie, Kuyt, Sneijder and Van der Vaart. That leaves us with one spot between 3. Cameroon are the highest ranked by Fifa at 19, while Denmark and Japan are 36 and 45th respectively. I'll go with Cameroon here with Japan and Denmark failing to produce in the games they will target.

To advance: Netherlands, Cameroon

Group F

The group most dear to my heart. I must admit to being a giant All Whites homer as a disclaimer before I make these picks and wish all power to Nelsen and Co. I hope you prove me right/more wrong!!! The Italians must have breathed a sigh of relief when they drew this pool and may even get the chance to experiment or rest some of their players if they fare as expected and win all 3. The Italians may have seen some of their players move on since the last World Cup but you have to like the strength up the middle of their defence with two of the all-time greats Buffon and Cannavaro. They may be in the twilight of their careers but with Blogfather favourite Andrea Pirlo (check the pinpoint free kicks) they are still a force to reckoned with. I'm picking Paraguay to lose first up but then take care of Slovakia and NZ. I am also liking the chance of New Zealand playing enough strong defence that they get lucky on the counter attack and feed the height of Rory Fallon, snatching a 1-1 draw with Slovakia. It should not be underestimated how huge a result like this would be.

To advance: Italy, Paraguay

Group G

Every World Cup we have what seems to be the group of death. Rarely do the results ever get as close as predicted but it looks as if G is the group this time around. Brazil will qualify though it wont be a cake walk. They could conceivably drop or tie one of their games and I think that the team that does that (Portugal or Ivory Coast) will advance. Games are tense at the World Cup and always a lot tighter than expected. Portugal having reached the semis last time around and having been 2nd and out at the quarters at the last two European Championships are tried and tested. Did I also mention they have the best player in the world not named Lionel? I think they will be a class above the Ivory Coast who unfortunately are thin on big international match experience. While the African Nations Cup is growing in stature it is still nowhere near the quality of the Euros. They are being hailed as Africa's best hope but sans Drogba and in this pool they are doomed to repeat '06 with a first round exit. The less said about the North Koreans the better. Lets just say there's more chance of them erecting a statue of Obama than gaining a point.

To advance: Brazil, Portugal

Group H

Spain are the favourites to win it all and looking at their team it is easy to see why. They have strength across the board with Casillas in goal, Puyol and Ramos at the back, Torres/Villa up front and a midfield so full that Premier League hero Cesc Fabregas may not start. They are primed for a deep run and this group wont stop them. As you may have noticed there is a heavy run on South American teams coming out of the Blogfather and this group is no exception. The Chileans beat Argentina and Paraguay in qualifying and should advance if top goal scorer Humberto Suazo is fit. The Swiss are ranked 24th 6 spots behind Chile and must fancy their chances of advancing especially if Suazo is unable to play. Like with most of the other groups the games between the 3 hopefuls will be more important than the expected losses to Spain.

To advance: Spain, Chile

In summary, I'm bullish on South America and bearish on the African teams. I've picked Nigeria and Cameroon to advance but not the more highly touted Ivory Coast or Ghana. Part of the reason for the run on these teams is the home field advantage they are said to enjoy. The Blogfather has never been to Africa but he expects the big cities where the teams will play more closely resemble Amsterdam or London than Accra or Yamoussoukro. Africa is a big place. Stayed tuned for 2nd round commentary when the draw is set. In the mean time feel free to make some money on the Blogfather:


Value(<$2.00) $1.75 Germany to win Group D

Gamble($2-5) $2.85 South Africa to beat Mexico

Longshot(>$5) $13 Robin Van Persie Golden Boot

Selling Africa

South Africa, Nigeria, Algeria, Ghana, Cameroon and the Ivory Coast will make up the largest African contingent at a World Cup ever and on "home" field many are picking a large contingent to get through to at least the second round. Here's why it's not going to happen, along with my picks for the group stage of the World Cup Finals.


Group A

I'll start with the African team favoured 2nd least to progress but who i think will most likely exceed expectations. Paying $2.75 to make the second round and in a group with Uruguay, Mexico and France one would expect South Africa to fall by the wayside, but never underestimate the power of home field. While not quite the Russian military at home, 91,700 screaming Africans will be sure to give Bafana Bafana a lift against a Mexican team much more talented but likely to be uncomfortable playing against a unpredictable and fired up home team. The Blogfather will go out on a limb and predict a South African victory first up, but then back to earth versus France and a dark horse in Uruguay.

To advance: France and Uruguay


Best Home Advantages:


LA Lakers 28-3 over last 31 home playoff games.

Green Bay Packers Unbeaten in a playoff game at home between the opening of Lambeau in '57 and the arrival of the SPCA's most valuable player.

MCG Boxing Day test: Since 1990 an 83% win percentage when a result occurs.

Carisbrook All Blacks: 85% win percentage lifetime.


Russia: Europe 0, Russia 2. Napoleon and Hitler know what I'm talking about.


Group B








Argentina should romp here and even a previously untested, confirmed cheater/cocaine addict/messiah could not stuff things up this early on. Who will join them is the big question, with Nigeria the most likely paying $1.90 but facing teams in Greece and South Korea who have both caused upsets at recent major tournaments. This 2nd spot could go anywhere but the physicality of Nigeria should prevail against an organised Korean unit and a Greek team who will be about as successful as their financial markets.

To Advance: Argentina, Nigeria

Group C

Bit of a yawner in this one as well with England sure to march through to the second round and a United States team set to join them. The US had never really shown much life on the major tournament stage but a Confederations Cup runners up postion in South Africa last year has them primed to make a run at least to the second round. Algeria are the least favoured of the Africans and should be taken care of by the other three, with the Slovenia vs USA game lining up as crucial.

To advance: England, USA



Group D


Germany, Australia, Ghana and Serbia combine for quite the group here. Germany as usual will be efficent, but missing Ballack will have to rely on Bastian Schweinstager, a focal point of Bayern Munich's double run, along with the Polish born strike pairing of Podolski and Klose (golden boot last time). I'm picking Germany to win 2 but draw or lose 1 and the team they slip to will be the one to advance. Ghana are rightfully the favourites of the rest and Australia will face an uphill battle without the talismanic Mark Viduka. Serbia are quality and while a slip up against New Zealand can't be read into too much, they perhaps lack the attacking firepower to advance. I'm picking Australia's tenacious attitude to overcome Ghana's more skillful but inconsistent unit, with Tim Cahill improving upon his already impressive world cup resume.


To advance: Germany, Australia


2nd half to come....

Robin From The Hood.

Once again, the owner of the South Sydney Rabbitohs has decided to dabble in film making. This time acting as the lead in the blockbuster Robin Hood. Zace Nation could not withhold its collective excitement when it heard that the team of Ridley Scott and Martin Crowe's cousin were joining forces again (Gladiator is firmly cemented in Zace Nation's top 5 favourite movies. In no particular order: Gladiator, Shawshank Redemption, Remember the Titans, Step Brothers, Lion King - this list is subject to actual Zace's pending disapproval).

However, in ditching a sword for a bow and arrow, Russ' newest movie has failed to deliver. On a scale of 1 to Maximus Decimus Meridius (a 10!), Robin Hood is a 6.

Because it clung so desperately to the winning formula espoused in Gladiator, Robin Hood had a chance to be a successful film. However, several factors restricted it from ever being mentioned in the same breath as Gladiator:

SPOILER ALERT

1) Cate Blanchett

2) The all too serindipitous return of a dead soldier's (Sir Robert Loxely) sword to his father (Sir Walter Loxely) who happens to know more about R.H's father and childhood than R.H does himself. To make matters worse, R.H then masquerades around the village as Sir Robert Loxely, who had been at war for 10 years. Dashing Russell bears little resemblance to this bit part actor. However, apparently this village all suffers from a combination of glaucoma and alzhiemer's; not only does nobody raise an eyebrow at this imposter, some even ask him "Do you remember me Sir Robert". Cue - piss off, I'm Robin from the mother f*cking hood, whack.

3) The fact that R.H falls in love with Cate Blanchett after a couple of days. Cate Blanchett!!

4) Sir Godfrey (played by Mark Strong - G.C) never says "why so serious" during the entire movie.

5) The fact that it seems like England's population in the 1400s was less than the number of straight guys at family bar.

6) Worst of all, the battle with the French. By this time in the movie, Robin Longstride (as he is known in the movie) has reached his seamless (and inexplicable) ascent to 2nd in command of the King's army. King John, billed as a arrogant dictator throughout the movie hardly blinks an eye when Robin begins giving orders (this would have been more understandable if he was Maximus Decimus Meridius - Commander of the Armies of the North - General of the Felix Legions - Loyal Servant to the true Emperor Marcus Aurelius). The two sides are engaged in battle -everyone is having a good time - when... Cate effing Blanchett leads her army of orphaned forest children into battle on their Shetland Ponies (possibly the most ridiculous movie moment since the 'bus jump' in speed). On cue, our heroine, and first ever leader of an army of children on midget horses, goes after Sir Godfrey. Naturally, Godfrey 'Jake Hekes' Marion and Robin is forced to come to her rescue. Whilst Marion lies unconscious, Robin manages to fend off Godfrey (who now sees that the battle is lost and begins riding off into the distance). To Zace Nation's disappointment, Marion wakes up from her momentary coma. This gives Robin just enough time to unleash a 200m arrow into the neck of the escaping Godfrey (not since PeeWee Herman have we seen such skill with a bow). The remaining French soldiers surrender. King John is informed of this: "Who have they surrended to?" he asks. "They have surrendered to that man" (Cut to shot of Robin heroically carrying Marion out of the water). Cue evocative music.

This film is basically a character building exercise for the sequel - a fact not disguised by the "and so the legend begins" caption at the end of the film. It has its moments. Robin's Merry Men were entertaining in their limited scenes; Friar Tuck's haircut is entertaining in itself. Little John's (the dude from Lost) "I'm gonna make you smile" quote provided some LOLs. Unfortunately, these moments were outweighed by dull and perculiar moments.

With any luck this is the Batman Begins to the next installment's Dark Knight... 'and so the legend begins.

Also, Kevin Locke should be dropped.

- Matt H.

Return of the Beast

It is time that all Warriors fans accept that we are a completely different team when Manu Vatuvei is on the paddock. This is a player that Warriors management must ensure stays with the team for as long as possible and doesn't get lured into a lucrative Northern Hemisphere contract or a high paying acting career. Even hobbling on one leg, the Beast helped spur the Warriors to a 20 - 0 half time lead. However, for the second time this season, Manu did not return after half time. Team sources say that this was not a reoccurrence of the hamstring injury that he has been struggling with over the past four weeks. "It's something between the ankle and the knee," Cleary said. "We've just got to cross our fingers and hope it's not too bad." Let's cross our fingers, because if Manu spends more time on the sideline, Zace Nation may react like this guy.


The Warriors opened the scoring with Zace Nation's second favourite Warrior, Ukuma Ta'ai ('Kuma' as he is fondly known to us), who surged through "three would be tacklers" (Ray Warren voice) to score under the posts. Kuma's try was followed with typically 'ugly' looking tries to Lewis "The Wrestler" Brown and Ian Henderson. The Warriors rounded out the half with penalty to superboot James Maloney to make it 20-0. "Shut the Gates"?! Not just yet...

With a 20-0 half time lead, Zace Nation believed victory was secured and proceeded to leave for their 21st party. Fortunately the HQ bar had the second half on. Needless to say the Warriors found ways to let the Cowboys back into the game. Two quick tries in the second half brought the Cowboys within 8. They almost closed the gap to two but for Ashley Graham putting his lilly white knee over the chalk before grounding the ball in the corner (Zace Nation wondered why he was still playing in Australia, considering him a good candidate to be playing in England - no sound reasoning was provided). The Cowboys' comeback provided good ammunition for Zace Nation's weekly lampooning of Lance Hohia (that little bastard) and Kevin Locke (that little brown bastard). The Warriors managed to hold on for victory, sealing the win when the little brown bastard caught a Seymour cross kick after last week's stand in captain Brent Tate pulled a nifty 'catch fake' to put off the Cowboys defender.

Overall the Warriors will be pleased with their performance. Any time you can beat a side which fields Jonathan Thurston you have played well. The Warriors welcomed the return of their best drinker, and biggest offensive weapon in Brett Seymour and Michael Luck respectively. Both turned in good outings, especially Seymour who was responsible for 3 of the Warriors tries. Needless to say he would have enjoyed a few quiet ones after the game.

For match highlights see here.

- Matt H

Kiwi Sports Blog...

I would like to start by thanking Big Zace for inspiration for this blog and article. His opinion is heavily reflected in the tone of this article.

Like any other trashy internet blog, the http://kiwisb.blogspot.com/2010/05/bye-bye-bondy.html needs to be critqued. Firstly, the title is very controversial. We here at Zace Nation suggest that it be changed to something less racially provocative. Secondly, ... pause to digest one of Vin's orange flavoured steroid pills..., from a man that hasn't played competitive sport at a high level since warming the bench for Rosmini's 3rd XV, a more diverse look at life from the eye's of Michael Burns would be encouraged. E.g. Auckland's best bbq restaurants, why chips make good walking food, why Dickies pants are for posers and why he has come to accept gays since working at ORCON.

Despite the last paragraph, we here at Zace Nation are very found of the face of Minter Ellison Rudd Watt's summer clerk programe: http://www.noordinarysummer.co.nz/ We wish him all the best for his blogging career (how inevitably short it may be).

On our own sporting tangent, we at Zace Nation firmly believe Delonte West did in fact get his little Delonte south of Gloria James' (LeBron's mum) equator. No women has enough self discipline to say no to this: http://blog.cleveland.com/sports/2008/03/medium_X00172_9.JPG

It is a concern for the James family that he may have an STD (Let google auto correct Delonte We...)

To conclude, we love the Malaysian Warrior and don't trust people with neck tattoos.

Go the mighty Vodafone Warriors and our other regular contributor, this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6U_MBkKiRA

- Matt H and Zace